Dancing With the Stars recap

I was glad Brandy and Maks came back to dance the quickstep, and glad they didn't feel the need to rehash everything in an on-air interview. Anyone who wants to hear Maks say "This is bulls---" about the season in general knows to just listen to the EW TV Insiders podcast anyway! The pair's quickstep was light and fun, and I loved Brandy's beautifully serene smile at the end as they hugged for days. Runner-up feel-good moment of this segment: That guy to Maks' right after he finally released Brandy from the hug was just beaming to be in his vicinity.

Christina Aguilera graced the ballroom with performances of "Show Me How You Burlesque" and later "Beautiful," complete with signing backup dancers. Where was Cher? I only care about Cher, Burlesque-wise. Christina and her gold-fringed dancers (decoys! all of them! not Our Pros!) gave a convincing, almost cautionary demonstration of what dancers can do to make it not safe for the judges to actually be seated at their pre-established judges' table. In particular, I'm trying not to imagine DANCMSTR Len Goodman sitting there helplessly as 10 gyrating Koosh balls with huge weaves implored him to "Get it up! Get it up!"The horror!

I'll leave you DANCMSTRs with a sprinkling of -- Tom Bergeron's favorite collection of reader-submitted ridiculata in all the virtual land!

"Jennifer kissing Brooke’s shoulder in a weird moment of affection. Is there something you girls want to share with us?" --Anthony, endorsed by Jen, nikki, glenn
"Derek enjoyed it. And then as they were walking away Jen wiped it off" --Manda

"Anyone see when they cut to the judges after Kyle’s foxtrot the disembodied fingers splayed in a '10' in the foreground?" --LAG Award Winner, endorsed by Jamie0415

"EAL was wearing all of her wristbands from the season! On the same wrist!" --A, endorsed byEnthusiastic Comment Lady, Marc, and EW.com's Activia Fairy

Tom Bergeron: Cool as a jewel. MVG for life. Click here to see all of this week's Gems.

Farewell for now, DANCMSTRs, and thank you for reading my recaps so religiously this season. It is a religion, you know. Your instincts were correct! Lord Mirrorballus has commissioned twice-weekly 2000-word jumbles from yours truly from his perch atop a sparkly throne on high (emphasis on high) for years. Why wouldn't He do that? He's trippin'! Aren't we all.

I'll see you all right back here for season 12...liiiiiiiiiiiive!