Marry: Doctor, my sister thinks that she is a lift.
Doctor: Bring her in.
Romi: I cannot
Doctor: Why so?
Marry: Because she does not stop at this floor.
A fat lady: Give me some advice that can reduce my weight.
Health expert: Ok! You must move your head to the right and the left at a
particular time.
Fat lady: At which particular time?
Health expert: Whenever anybody asks you to eat.
Patient: Doctor, my daughter has swallowed a pen. What can I do?
Doctor: Use a pencil till I come to see her.
Doctor: What seems to be your trouble?
Lady: When I get up I feel dizzy for two hours.
Doctor: Try getting up two hours later.
Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him.
Doctor: They are for you.
Patient: Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what i just said.
Doctor: When did you first notice this problem?
Patient: What problem?
“Funny Diet Excuses”
1. It was my birthday, so I have eaten the whole cake.
2. Chocolates have many preservatives and preservatives makes me look younger.
3. Broken biscuits have no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie escape.
“Doctor: Run 8 kms a day for 300 days, you will lose 34 kgs.
After 300 days, Patient called doctor I have lost weight, but I am 2400 kms from home. ”
Patient: I have swallowed a key.
Doctor: When?
Patient: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Patient: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.
Diet & Exercise: Two Overweight Women were talking:- “I’ve got an idea” said one. “Let’s flip a coin. If it lands on heads, we’ll go to eat a cheeseburger. If it lands on tails, we’ll go for a pizza. And if it lands on its side, we’ll go to the gym to work out.
Patient: I think I am suffering form loss of memory.
Doctor: Please pay my fees in advance.
Patient: Doctor, can I ask you a personal question, if you do not mind.
Doctor: Yes you can.
Patient: Why do you charge fees much lower than other doctors?
Doctor: Because I am not a M.B.B.S. I am only a B.Sc.
Doctor: What is the matter about your husband?
Woman: He worries a lot about money.
Doctor: I think I can relieve him of that.
Patient: I am taking rest cure.
Doctor: What do you do?
Patient: I sit every day for four hours in your waiting room.
Doctor: Why are you nervous?
Patient: Because I am going to have an operation for the first time.
Doctor: Hey! But I am not nervous though this is my first operation.
Doctor: You must take five tea-spoonfuls of this medicine before every meal.
Patient: Doctor, we have only 3 spoons at home.
“Doctor: What is wrong with you?
Patient: I am losing my memory. Please give me some medicine.
Doctor: Here, Take this.
Patient: Why are you giving me this medicines? I am perfectly all right.”